Sunday, September 18, 2011

From The Sick Bed...

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I know, I'm a terrible person. As more and more of you are beginning to point out, I am like 2 freaking months behind on my 365s. Disgusting, I know! The good news is that I've still been taking the photos (most days). The bad news is that a lot of the time, I'm forgetting the little anecdotes and details of many of my photos already, which is completely messing with the purpose of this project - remembering the little things. Grrrr.

Anyway, me-bashing aside, I am cranky as pants with my health at the moment. In the last month and a half, I've been sick a whopping three times! Three! And these are not short and sharp little head colds... they're hard-core, 9-day-long stretches of splitting head aches, the sorest of sore throats, congestion so severe it would protect my insides from a nuclear explosion (yep, just from my nose being totally blocked up) and the worst part, coughing fits that are so hard and so frequent they've reduced me to a teary ball on the floor. This is not how I've ever experienced sick before, and I'm wayyyyy over it. Thanks for listening to my melt down.

On a slightly less self-pitying note, I've been spending this weekend thinking about the future. I've decided to switch my uni degree back to primary teaching (I'm currently doing early childhood education) and I've been offered a more secure, permanent position at work which has me feeling more settled than I have basically all year since giving up my full-time status for a casual one. But this offer has brought a lot of things to the surface and I'm now trying to answer questions that I just can't - what do I want my immediate future to hold? A stable job? A baby? A focus on finishing my degree? Do I pursue the dream I've had for years, to open a cupcakery? Do I dabble in the event-planning path that's caught my interest lately? How brave do I let myself be? Bless my husband, who is waiting patiently for me to work these things out for myself.

I don't understand people whose lives are black and white - and I don't mean that in a negative way at all. I just don't get how someone can come up with the 'grand plan' that they then stick to for 50 years. Life would sure be a lot easier that way. I just change too much - my hopes, my dreams, my goals, my mind... it's all just constantly moving.

Anyway, my cold & flu medication is swirling through my brain right about now and my eyes are slowly being forced close, so I'll leave you with my thoughts and take a good, long sleep. I hope!

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